The Midnight Sun
The Good Life
Take me. I'm yours.
The Way Home
We Take Care of Our Own
The Holy Days
Fall On Me
Bringing It All Back Home
Learn to Be Still
Love the One You're With
"I feel the steady pull from things I can't see and I like it, I like it." So goes the chorus from Jonatha Brooke's song, "Steady Pull". I recently reconnected with this great tune and played it on my show the other day. The sultry sexy harmonies of Shawn Mullins brought back a slew of memories from my time at KNBA radio. It was good to hear it again.
Then something else happened. I listened to the chorus for what felt like the rst time and in an instant that which had been previously indescribable now had it's own language. I feel a steady pull from things I can't see, and I like it. "That's it!" I said out loud. "That explains it!" That one sentence succinctly describes my life experience these last several months. A deep stirring had already begun back in the fall of 2012. More true is that the discontent that had been brewing for some time deep down in my soul was nally coming into my conscious awareness.
It was December 5. I was driving with my friend from Anaheim, California to Glendale, Arizona to catch the last Springsteen concert of 2012. As we crossed the big, wide open space that is the west, I had a mystical experience.
I had brought with me on that trip the question, "How does one move?" If it's not because of a job or a relationship or a sick family member, how does one move from one city to another and how do you know what city to move to?! I knew my time in Alaska was coming full circle; at the very least, I needed a winter's break. I had been feeling restless and though I didn't know specifics, there was this steady pull from things I couldn't see, from somewhere out beyond me. At the time though, I didn't like it. Mostly because I couldn't identify it and therefore couldn't control it.
Mystical experiences arrive without notice and defy language; it's an instant knowingness that comes to you complete, a total sensory experience. Though I could feel something unleash in me as we drove, it wasn't until I heard its language in my heart and my head that I became aware of what was happening.
As a kid, I would stare outside my bedroom window, the small squares of the summer screen dividing up my life into tiny boxes. I knew then I was born to run. From here I can see that even then there was a steady pull from things I couldn't see but I could feel it. I had dreams bigger than Dumont, New Jersey and so when the chance came to run, I did, across the country and then north, to a place I never imagined I would call my home.
Green, lush California mountains on every side of us, vast, open space all around me, my friend sang along to a Beatles song while I starred outside the window. In an instant I heard it, then felt it. The knowingness came in ashes of understanding. Alaska was big enough to hold my audacious dreams. Flash. My dreams have lled Alaska to its brim. Flash. It's time for your next birthing room. Flash.Camille you don't need to move from one city to another as much as you just need to move. Movement. Geographical independence. Energetic relocation. Goin' Mobile. My entire body shivered, the vibration of Truth rippling through my DNA.
"That's it!" I thought. "That's it!" "I need to be on the move!" I felt like a live wire, the electrical currency of life itself coursing through my nervous system. I had gotten my answer, a very important answer and I knew it was Truth and True.
We parked behind a car that had a oval bumper sticker on it's back window that simple said, "CC". I saw it as confirmation of what I experienced hours before. Inside the arena, the house lights went up and 25,000 people are on their feet, singing, "baby we were born to run". That night, I heard that song with a sense of connection that I haven't felt in a long time. All the searching had been swept away. I ew home two nights later overwhelmed with the understanding that had presented itself to me.
Seven months later, I'm in something that's not my doing. In upcoming posts, I'll share more about this extraordinary rising that's happening within me and the trajectory of my soul's journey that has brought me to here. Here's what I know so far. When a decision makes you, surrender is key. As challenging as it is most times, it's clearly the path to take. In that place of surrender, I'm in constant awe of the Intelligence that is working through me and It's ability to know all because It is all and has the means to bring it all into form! Consequently the how of this magnificent "upcoming feature" is not mine to gure out or do! What is mine to do is prepare, to lighten my load, to remain immensely open in my thinking and to never for a moment collapse the innite eld of possibility onto a limited thought about what this is or what is possible. As I simply do what's in front of me, as I lean in and listen and trust, I feel a steady pull from things I can't see. And I like it, I like it.