The Midnight Sun
The Good Life
Take me. I'm yours.
The Way Home
We Take Care of Our Own
The Holy Days
Fall On Me
Bringing It All Back Home
Learn to Be Still
Love the One You're With
|"I don't know what to feel. My back's against the wall. Feel it all, feel it all." Van Horn Ely, "Feel it All"|
5:15. Waking up at such an hour with a full mind instead of a rested mind is an indication of my inner life while back in Anchorage after a year. It has felt like someone has my hair in a ponytail and they’re whipping me around and around, a whirlwind of sound and color.
It feels surreal. Last night, I was telling a friend that I have to keep reminding myself that I’m leaving next week. I'm so comfortable being back that I've forgotten I ever left! It's as if the year never happened! But I did leave and I will again and it’s surprisingly unsettling with less than a week to go. It certainly answers one of the questions I came here with which is, “Is this still home?”.
Everyday has been full of connecting with friends and family. If my prosperity was measured by the quality of my relationships, I’m the richest person I know! To see and connect with these wonderful souls again, with and for whom i have cultivated a deep love over the past 25 years, has been enormous! Being present for their stories, their hopes and dreams, fears and frustrations is tethering me to a tenderness and a compassion that is opening me up to my own vulnerability.
This trip is also solidifying what I’ve known since I left town: we need each other. Community is critical to the health of one’s life and though social media creates community nothing will ever replace connection, actual physical connection where eyes meet, hearts melt and souls become one. To feel with another is life's great gift.
With a week left, I am opening myself to the powerful vibration that is Alaska. The Seward Highway is calling me so that the majestic and sacred vistas of this great land have a chance to have their way with me. I’m also mindful of my thoughts so that I remain in the present moment. Thinking about leaving is making me anxious and that's not how I want to feel. And yet, this is the practice of living authentically, remaining mindful of the breath while holding my tender heart and loving myself as the days fly by and having the courage to, as Van Horn Ely sang on the show yesterday, "feel it all, feel it all".